03 January 2008

When did this happen?

I had a (horrible? creepy? awesome? startling?) realization while I was e-mailing The Boy I Currently Like yesterday. (Apparently "Sweet Can" hasn't taken off like I thought it might. *sigh* Back to the drawing board.)

Some background: When I was little, I got spanked pretty often. When I got older, my mom progressed to hitting me with a variety of objects (hairbrush, wooden spoon, wet towel ... whatever was handy). I never thought it had much of an impact on the way I turned out, though one of my college roommates was convinced it gave me a short temper. There were many times when I was pretty little, maybe three or four, that my mom would chase me around the house with a yard stick with which to spank me because I was refusing to take a nap or talking back or doing whatever other bad things I did as a wee lass.

So, The Boy had feigned indignation (as he so often does) at some horrible thing I'd done or said and called me Jessica instead of Jess. I was all, *bites lower lip* "Have I been bad? Are you going to spank me?" All I could think about was him chasing me around to spank me because I was so naughty. Except it would be fun, not scary. And I'd be laughing/shrieking instead of crying/shrieking. And it would end on the bed instead of under/behind the bed.

Honestly, I have no idea where this came from. One would think it would manifest itself well before I reached my early 30s ... but whatever. As it turns out, after all the personal, confessional stuff I've said in the nearly two years of this blog, it is this entry that has me thinking to myself, "You're really going post this?" But if I can't tell you, my friends and random strangers on The Interwebs, who can I tell?

I can't figure out how I should feel. But I'm sure a post like this will really bring the freaks out of the woodwork. Spanking! Cast fetish! Sluts with black eyeliner! Bacon fucking! It's all here, people.

11 comments:

Muffy Willowbrook said...

Naughty Lassie! What's wrong with that? I'm all about it.

Not fucking bacon though. I don't even know how that started.

Jess said...

Oh, I don't think anything's wrong with it. I'm fully prepared to be very naughty and accept the consequences.

I do, however, feel a bit like some sort of psychology case study come to life. My old roommate would probably have a field day with this. She also diagnosed me as paranoid schizoprhenic. But this test says I'm mostly not.

Muffy's Bestie said...

So I took the test, came out mildly schizoprhenic but I'm curious as to why when I got the results, this sexy looking lady laying upside down came with my results!!!! And Jess you are gonna bring on the nutcases from this blog!! I LOVED it though.

Jess said...

Did she look like she was done up in Emo Spider-Man's black goo that made up his suit? That's what I got. Does being 28 percent paranoid schizo make me inclined to enjoy bondage, too?

This blog can always use more freaks. If nothing else, I can be lazy and post entries about what fucked up search terms led their sweet, troubled souls here.

Muffy's Bestie said...

My lady was in a bathing suit, but then again I only came out 20% schizoprhenic so maybe spider lady comes out when you are 25% or higher. Some thing for me to strive for.....become MORE schizophrhenic to make the naughty spider lady come out!!

Jess said...

Shit. I knew I shouldn't have checked the statement about smelling things that aren't there. But dammit, it smells like baby lotion out in the hall. It must be there!

JP said...

I'm only 16%, but I got a chick in a bikini top, light blue and some flowers on it. I just couldn't check the box about addicted to narcotics.. even though I clearly am.

Rosie O'Donnell said...

Oh Gosh, Honey. There's nothing wrong with liking a little spanking!

I made a very funny movie all about that!

Big Blue Monkey said...

I normally stay away from posts like this, but...

I've known psychology researchers who have enjoyed a donkey show in Tijuana. I'd say ignore any Psych student. They have no idea how aberrant the world is, yet.

Like "Rosie" said, being piqued by getting a light spanking is a pretty harmless fetish. If you suddenly discover you have it, I wouldn't consider that a big deal, except that maybe you've changed something you dreaded into something you might enjoy. Or maybe you won't, and then the fantasy will go away on its own.

Be forewarned though: All of that leather gear gets expensive. Know when to draw the line.

Jess said...

Oh, please. I'm not getting any leather. A hand and an ass is all you need.

Okay, maybe I'd consider a Bumpaddle. Though I'm not sure where to find one of those outside Wee Britain.

the boy you currently like said...

noted.