30 December 2007

I love it when a plan comes together.

Holy shit. The Ugly Christmas Sweater pub crawl was a fucking smashing success. I think there were more than 30 people when the group was at its largest. But better than just a lot of people coming out was the fact that nearly everyone participated and did so with some serious gusto.

The few people who didn't participate did end up getting shamed and a little bit, and I think they regretted not having sweater fun with the rest of us. We had lots of turtlenecks and vests. A few people went whole hog with an entire outfit. The best though, were the boys -- especially the straight boys. I did not expect sequins or a cardigan.

For whatever reason, we seemed to have too little time at each bar. I was yelled at for having to be the cruel taskmistress keeping us all on schedule. This never happened on any of the other pub crawls and the distance between the bars was generally a lot shorter on this one.

I suppose the trouble with time management and the high incidence of stragglers was probably due to the fact that we had such a huge group and people were eating at different places along the crawl. Honestly, 30 people really seems to be about the limit for this kind of thing. I basically had to finish my drink and start going around and telling everyone we had to leave.

I feel like I barely talked to half the people who were there -- especially at the bars in the middle of the crawl. We started slow, so I got some time in with my girls at Liquor Lyle's and then we hung out at The Herkimer until pretty much everyone had left.

But you know who I did get to talk to for more than just a couple minutes? Muffy Willowbrook! When we got to Mortimer's we sat down at a table next to some people and a couple of them (who turned out to be Muffy's Bestie and their friend Jen) were wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. We didn't know if they were doing the same thing as us or if they were just being ... festive.

Fortunately, Muffy asked my friend Princess Kay of the Milky Way if she was on the pub crawl and we got to commence to hanging out. Muffy and her crew are ever so much fun and I think we're going to need to hang out more in the future. It was fun to fill her in on (and gossip about) some of the cast of characters here who were at the crawl and others who were not. Oh, and JP, we're going to break you down and get you to hang out with us. You've been warned.

My cousin and her friend had planned to stay here, but it turned out they had to go home and got a ride from a sober friend. I was pretty stoked at the thought of no overnight guests, but Macho Man and the World's Worst Wing Woman ended up crashing here. I almost had The Slat here, too. Thankfully, he was able to get home and I didn't have to share my bed with the World's Worst Wing Woman. I sleep like ass with people here as it is, I didn't need to be sharing my bed.

I do not know what was up with Macho Man last night. When we were standing outside The Bulldog waiting for a couple of people to head over to our next bar, the CC Club, he marveled at how good my skin looked. Then at The Herkimer, he was going on and on about how I was just cute as a button. Clearly, he was drunk off his ass.

The winner of the contest was The Prison Librarian. There was some stiff competition -- what with the outfits and the boys really manning up. But The Prison Librarian went a step further. She embellished her sweater with bells and patches and cotton balls. She won the not-so-fabulous prize. This is something that we're going to do every year, I think. Maybe next year we can get word out a bit earlier and do it earlier in December. But I think this weekend worked pretty well.

Several people who were on their first pub crawl asked what we had planned for the next one. I think The Future Mrs. Dirk and I are going to take a bit of a break before we plan the next one. It'll be better to wait until it warms up a bit anyway. There are so many options -- we missed half the bars in Northeast. We haven't done anything solely Downtown yet. There's the West Bank ... maybe even St. Paul!


Anonymous said...

I totally want to hang with you girls.. I am 100% positive you do NOT want our first time to be a pub crawl. (believe me on this one!) I have NO self control and am usually the worlds largest puddle! That is never a good first impression. But who knows maybe this spring, I wont care about that any more.

Seriously we could do something else and just call it "bloggers HH" :)

Anonymous said...

OH and I am jealous I missed this one, it looks like a fabulous time!

Jess said...

Yay! You know, I've been toying with the idea of a "Minneapolis Girl Bloggers Happy Hour" for a while now. Clearly, I think you've got a great idea there, sister. What with us all loving happy hour and being girls who blog, it's perfect.

And then after we've hung out and you've made your impression, you can come to the next pub crawl and get super shitty! It's a brilliant plan.

Anonymous said...

Wow. Great sweaters!

Jess said...

Where the hell were you, Missy? You said you were coming!

crushthemall said...

Ooh...had I not made out with a hooker (and it was just making out) and got the flu (and just the flu) from her (not him), I totally would have invited myself along. I could have borrowed one of my mother's sweaters, and had a helluva good time.

I'm jealous I missed, too.

Jess said...

But everyone who reads was invited! So you wouldn't have been inviting yourself along at all. Y'all better come to the next one.

I want to hear more about this making out with a hooker. What's that cost?

crushthemall said...

Hooker make out session? Cost $1.95. Usually there's cellophane involved, but I chose the full-on experience. The only problem? Flu season. She have me a strain she's been saving since 1967, and it's a doozy. Seriously, my temp's fluctuating between 98.3 and 102.7. I mean, those aren't even good radio stations.

Jess said...

Wow, that's quite reasonable. But then again, it sounds as if you're terribly ill. There really is no such thing as a free lunch.

If only our sex workers could unionize. Then maybe you'd have some sort of recourse to get back at that whore.

Brian in Mpls said...

looks fun:) Next time

Muffy's Bestie said...

Ugly X-mas Sweater Pub Crawl was a HUGE success! Thanks for welcoming us with open arms and mocking our outfits as they were truly hideous! I thought you planned it perfectly. Thanks for all your hard work!!!

Muffy Willowbrook said...

The pub crawl was so much fun - and SO glad I finally got to meet you, Jess! It was a definite success and please count me in on future pub crawls as I love me some drinking and crawling - especially in the snow! So happy I decided to go with the snow boots instead of heels.

PS - Minneapolis Girl Bloggers Happy Hours is an excellent IDEA! Love it! WHEN WHEN??

Jess said...

Yay! I'm so glad y'all had a good time.

We should get on this happy hour thing soon. It'll be awesome.

Anonymous said...

If there are compromising photos, I'm all for ya'll to have this Lady Bloggers drinking party.

Jess said...

You'll see pictures of the Lady Bloggers Happy Hour when you do an IDYFT beefcake photo spread.