11 October 2007

To write or not to write?

It's a tough question and one that's been on my mind for a while. Let's say you're a girl who likes a boy. Let's say this boy reads your blog and has mentioned in the past that, although he reads it, some of the things you write about make him totally uncomfortable. And this is often in the back of your mind, so even though you've been e-mailing with him for months (and let's face it, he's pretty freakin' awesome), you've said nary a peep about him in your blog.

Then, let's say that you finally break down and ask this boy to come over and, I don't know, watch football or play a stupid game. And at the end of his e-mail response to your question, he says, "Now, I am off to read your blog and see if I made it in there finally." So, he'd been wondering all this time when you'd finally say something about him in your blog? And all this time you'd been wondering whether you should say anything about him or not because not only does he read your blog and your ridiculous confessional style freaks him out, but at least one person he knows also read your blog and might figure out who it is you're writing about. You worry about these things.

So, now the day is fast approaching where you're going to finally get to meet and hang out with this guy and you're totally excited and alternately completely freaked out and you have all this shit going around it your head and it needs to go out somewhere and you know, your friends have lives and jobs and you don't want to bore them to tears. Plus, this is the kind of thing you'd normally write about in your blog. But then again, the object of this kind of a mental maelstrom wouldn't normally be reading about himself in your blog because he doesn't even know you have one.

Add to this the whole time you've been mentally debating whether or not to write about the boy, you've been wondering what the hell you will call him. He's got an interwebs-ready nickname, 'cause he's a blogger, too. You could use that, but then it would be really obvious. That kind of thing could get very high school, very fast. I mean, months ago, someone e-mailed him and asked him if he was Booty Call Matt. Really? I still can't figure that one out. Now, you could maybe take his interwebs-ready nickname and modify it slightly, but really, people are not dumb and would still figure it out. Besides, it feels like this boy should have nickname all his own in your blog that you come up with. I mean, that's how it works with nearly everyone else who makes and appearance in this blog. And the best your lame ass can do with the one mention of him prior to this is to call him The Boy I Currently Like. Pathetic.

So really, what do you do in this situation? I guess you write about it as a haphazard hypothetical which is kinda sad, but you had to say something and you're just not sure how you want to handle this situation at the moment. And you hope you'll figure things out eventually, I guess. Also, you may or may not regret hitting the "publish post" button immediately after you do it, but you are not going to take this fucker down. YOU WILL NOT TAKE IT DOWN!


abbersnail said...

Oof. I feel like you are living in my head. The decision to write about my honey was a tough one. I am very up-front with him about the existence of the blog, but I don't know whether or not he reads it. Regardless, it still makes me nervous! This is the place where I feel the most vulnerable in certain ways, you know?

Wow. I just totally wrote a novel in your comments. Sorry!

Christine said...

This post just totally explains why we are soulmates.

Lucy Rhode said...

Oh Jess. It has been out for a long time. It broke my heart, and I miss him terribly. I stopped talking to him because everything was SO OBVIOUS. Just enjoy. I love him and would like to see him happy. I was not enough.

Who needs a drink?

Lucy Rhode said...

We talked for nearly two years, by the by. I've a right to miss him.


Jess said...

I'm drinking right now, and I think it's a good thing. Let's all have a few. Or several.

blythe said...

it's a weird thing, isn't it. you don't write about it, it's weird. you do, it's weirder. i choose to let my friends out me in every comments section. happy medium.

Big Blue Monkey said...

When in doubt, go slutty. That's what My Grandmother told me, back on the island of Okinawa.

So, when in doubt, go slutty.

Jess said...

You make a good point. Going slutty solves most problems.