10 September 2007

Women and the Courtesy Flush.

I've pondered writing about this particular subject for quite some time now. The idea pretty much strikes me every time I walk into the bathroom here at work and I'm overwhelmed by the lingering stench of some other woman's poo.

Why on Earth don't more women practice The Art of The Courtesy Flush? Yes, I know, everyone poops. It's natural and all that. But some of these unholy smells cannot be natural. What the hell are these women eating?

Anyway, I'm not offended by the act of pooping. Wait, yes I am. A woman who worked in the office next to me at an old job could often be found in the loo, grunting and groaning while she dropped the kids off at the pool. Sometimes it was moaning and damn near wailing in pain. As you can probably imagine, it smelled like Satan's asshole. That was terribly offensive and damn near scarred me for life.

Okay, so where was I? Oh, I'm not offended by the act of pooping. Really, I'm not! But I am certainly offended by that foul odor wafting from under your stall. Would it kill you to reach around and flush as soon as you're done? It's not difficult at all if you can reach back there. Yes, there are cons to the courtesy flush. It's probably not all that environmentally responsible and you might get a little splash back. I can see avoiding the courtesy flush if you know the toilet is a mini-Old Faithful.

Don't just think of the others who use the bathroom, either. Think of yourself. Do you really want to sit around marinating in the stink from last night's booze and chicken wing-soaked happy hour? Of course you don't. So I implore you, women of Minnesota: give the courtesy flush a try.

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