18 September 2007

Does Best Buy know about this?

To: Rosalyn J. Valle (Rosalyn@BestBuy.com)
Re: My boyfriend's pecker keeps slipping out

Cuties always hee-hawed at me and even fellows did in the urban john!
Well, now I sriek at them, because I took M_E GA D IK
for 4 months and now my prick is very much weightier than world.
attain http://latori.com/
--------------------------
Council, as well as in the energy sector. All of this
The Movement for the Emancipation of the Niger Delta
Burgas-Alexandroupolis pipeline agreement signed in
enough successful possessions to keep the game close.
the final minutes for the victory.


First of all, Rosalyn, I'm terribly sorry to hear about your boyfriend's pecker. Wait. Did you say "pecker?" Seriously? Who says that?

Do you really think you should be sending such potentially lascivious e-mails from your work address? I'm guessing Best Buy monitors the hell out of your shit. And pecker is probably a red flag word. I can't say I appreciate you sending such e-mails to my work address, either. Christ, I could get in trouble. Thanks a lot, you dumb whore.

I really don't know why you're telling me this or what you want me to do about it. It's not like I'm Dr. Ruth or Dr. Drew or Sue Johanson. Sure, I'm the resident sexpert of this blog. Granted, I'm the only one here. Still ... I think you need more help than I can give you, sister. Especially after reading the actual content of your e-mail. Why are you taking the M_E GA D IK? What are you not telling me? Rosalyn honey, you have a problem. Put down the crack pipe and get some help. Until then, please stop e-mailing me.

Kisses,
Jess

2 comments:

Ed Kohler said...

Pecker is a funny word. I suppose you couldn't say his "schlong" is falling out.

Spammers are spoofing email addresses these days, so this almost certainly isn't from a Best Buy employee, but it's kind of fun to think that someone is pimping penis pills from their work address down in Richfield.

Jess said...

No, "pecker" probably fits the bill pretty well in this instance.

In my little dreamworld, dear Rosalyn is unhappy and disillusioned with her position in Hardlines and has taken on the side job of pimping the penis pills. She's trying to finance her dream of bring the word "pecker" back into the lexicon. And her crack habit. That shit's expensive.