30 August 2007

My fantasy

... football drafts are in the books. Is this the year that The Bob Saget Fan Club finally makes it over that last hump and wins the Super Bowl? It may very well be, provided the league commissioner doesn't make any last-minute playoff rules changes that benefit no one but him. My crop of wide receivers and running backs has received high praise from the guys in my other league.

Yes, okay, I'm bitter about the change our commish made last year -- without any discussion or notice -- to reseed the playoffs after each round. That's why he went to the Super Bowl and I had to be content to finish third. I still came out ahead, but I want the glory. And the $200 or whatever the payout is this year. Just think of all the lip gloss and vintage purses I could buy!

There's a new team in town this year, too -- Strumpet's Crumpets. Yes, I am the suck at thinking of good fantasy football team names. I had to think of a name right away, and I was eating a crumpet and thinking whore-y thoughts. VoilĂ ! Strumpets Crumpets is born. It is fitting that my quarterback for this team is Matt Leinart. I know, I know. The eye herpes. But sweet, merciful Jebus, he is hot.

I'm glad I can still be totally stoked about football season, even though I no longer have a truly favorite team. The Vikings can suck it. I might tune in every now and again to see Adrian Peterson run, but I really don't see myself taking them back.

Now, if only I could watch Gopher football games. Fuck you, Comcast. And fuck you too, Big Ten Network. Just agree on something, already.

7 comments:

Jerious Norwood said...

So whose on yer team already? Did you draft me? If not, why not?

And how big, exactly, are your cans?

Jess said...

I did not draft you, but I wanted to, especially for The Bob Saget Fan Club. You were stolen right before I picked.

I didn't post my teams because it's totally self-indulgent and I figured no one would want to read that much detail. But here you go:

The Bob Saget Fan Club
QBs: Alex Smith, Matt Schaub.
RBs: Laurence Maroney, Willis McGahee, Ronnie Brown, Leon Washington.
WRs: Larry Fitzgerald, Andre Johnson, Braylon Edwards, Kevin Curtis, Anthony Gonzalez.
TEs: Jason Witten, Tony Scheffler.
K: Shayne Graham.
D/ST: Miami, Arizona.

Strumpet's Crumpets:
QBs: Matt Leinart, Alex Smith.
RBs: Shaun Alexander, Thomas Jones, Marion Barber, Dominic Rhodes.
WRs: Reggie Wayne, Deion Branch, Kevin Curtis, Eddie Kennison.
TEs: Jason Witten, Tony Scheffler.
K: Nate Kaeding.
D/ST: Miami, Arizona.

Seriously, you're going to have to try harder on the cans question.

Jen said...

Eye herpes?

Jerious Norwood said...

Bigger than a bread box?

Jerious Norwood said...

And I can't believe you didn't draft me by the way. That's totally lame.

Jerious Norwood said...

I'm so hurt, you're going to have to tell me your bra size.

Jess said...

Bigger than a bread box?

Each or together?

As for my drafts, hey, I have a strategy and I'm not going to draft a player earlier than I should regardless of how much I want him on my team.

To put it another way: I'm not going to be that person in my league who took Vince Young in the second round.