09 July 2007

Will eHarmony reject me, too?

I read this story in the Strib over the weekend (notice it is not actually from the Strib, but something they culled off the wire services -- that's a great commitment to local news): Even eHarmony said no. It got me to wondering whether I'd get any matches on eHarmony.

I've heard all the stories about it being full of Jebus freaks and all that. Their TV spots make me want to retch. A friend in another state used it and said it was slim pickin's. Naturally, I assumed I would be a colossal failure on the site.

Since the story was fresh in my mind and I wasn't quite ready for bed last night, seeing an eHarmony ad on the tube prompted me to give it a try. Like Rick Gershman, I was begging for a swift and painless end to the questioning. Seriously. So many questions. I can't say I answered them all that carefully and I'm not sure about the honesty level, because I'd had a few drinks at a show earlier and may have leaned a little farther to one side or the other. But still, like Gershman I rated the religious stuff very low and the sex stuff very high.

My verdict?

Our matching system was not able to find any new matches for you right now.

However, we are always automatically searching for new matches for you. Several thousand people join eHarmony each day and our matching system evaluates each one of them within 24 hours to see if they are a great match for you.

We will notify you via email when matches are found or you can check your My Matches page at eHarmony whenever you like.

Our matching criteria, based on the 29 dimensions of compatibility, are extremely strict, and are what makes eHarmony a unique and powerful tool in finding your soul mate. We will keep searching and hope to find some wonderful matches for you soon.

So, I'm not a hopeless enough case that they just outright tell me to get lost? Quite frankly, I was hoping to get the same message as Gershman. I was hoping to get rejected outright. Damn. They might find someone for me someday. I should wait to see how long it takes. Truth be told, though, I'll forget/get bored in a couple of days and not bother to check the e-mail I used.

Also, what the fuck, Blogger? I can't get into the "Title" field to create a title for this post.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the link to the article about this eHarmony rejection slip!

The first time I try to join eHarmony, I was in a bad mood filling out the questionnaire and I got the rejection slip!

A couple of months later, I tried it again under a different email address and I didn't get the rejection slip.

The difference between the way I filled out the questionnaires were definately on the marriage front. The first time, I answered a lot of questions about how much I loved my alone time and how happy Iw as spending time alone and cultivating my own interests and life.

The second time, I focused on how much I wished to spend my time with someone else and share interests.

So, I thought that was intersting.

Anonymous said...

Also, Good luck to you!

Jess said...

Oh my God, dude, I'm not actually going to do eHarmony. *shudder* This was merely for experimental purposes.

I thought I rated all those alone time things really high, too, but I don't really remember.

Diana said...

I did eHarmony back in the single days. I think EVERYONE gets that "no matches" crap right away so you keep paying...I rarely had any matches (and those that I did I had usually seen on the other, less creepy sites), and they always seemed to pop up just as I was about to tell them to lose my credit card number....

(BTW, I met my hubby on The Onion singles - way better!!)

Anonymous said...

Ok. Good. I'm glad to hear you only signed up for experimental purposes!

From what I can gather, that's all it's good for.


Anonymous said...

I am actually a member of eHarmony and currently dating a guy that I met on there. I never thought about joining until a woman that I work with got engaged to a man that she met on there. I went to their wedding this summer and took my eHarmony match! I always had so many matches that I didn't know what to do with most of them! I am not religious at all so I don't think people get rejected due to that...I just think that you would have to fill out all those questions to one extreme or the other which would make it more difficult to match versus someone that is more in the middle on things.

Lucy Rhode said...

Two or three years ago, e-harmony rejected me. I wear it as a badge of honour. Have you ever met an e-harmonized couple? A former colleague with whom I thought I shared many qualities recently married her e-match. Shockingly, she changed her last name and then turned down a promotion because he won't move away from his pole barn! Fuck that. (One can say "fuck that" on this dirty, dirty blog, right? Excellent!)

Jess said...

Cursing is not only okay, Lucy, it is encouraged.

Anonymous, I think I did answer more on the extremes either way. I guess I don't do anything half-assed. Glad to hear it is working out for you, though.

Let me just say again, this was purely for experimental purposes only. I have no plans to give them any money or talk to anyone or anything.

blythe said...

"e-harmonized couple" - i love it! i tried match, but it totally scared me. but hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

oh, and i had the same problem with blogger. hmm.

Jen C said...

Would I happen to be the out of state friend you were talking about? haha I didn't get rejected (didn't even know that could happen) but damn did I get some lame ass matches. What does that say about me? And i'm with you on the commercials. I have to mute them the second I hear that music.

Jess said...

Yes, Jen that was indeed you. I remember you saying that everyone they sent you for matches was the suck. Or nearly all of them.

I got a match today! Some 46-year-old dude out in the 'burbs with two kids who mentioned exercise and physical fitness roungly one million times in whatever it was I skimmed. I'm all for working out, Johnny McTooOldForMe. Lord knows it keeps me from hurting innocent people, but damn.

I'm sure there will be more winners on the way soon.

Mr. Shain said...

blythe dont lie, you try to sign up for e-harmony every single week.

blythe said...

how did you find me here!?

Jess said...

He's blog-stalking you!