I feel like I'm on this disappointment roller coaster and have been for the last several days. There were the good dates with Detlef with a non-disclosed disappointment in between. It was actually more than a disappointment. It was fairly (and oddly) gut-wrenching, but I think everything will turn out okay in the end. Then Carrie's dad took a turn for the worse. Then Detlef and I had conflicting schedules and couldn't have a third date, good or otherwise.
What was next? Oh, my Oldest Friend (not in age, but in the amount of time we've been friends ... could we really be friends back when we were mere months old? If you can knock over plants and eat dirt together while your moms had a couple drinks and dished the dirt on God knows who, yeah, you can be friends that long) decided to skip Hay Daze kind of at the last minute. For whatever reason, I spent Friday morning and most of my drive down south figuring that was just the beginning of the end. That I would end up wasting a weekend at home. There was a point where I thought maybe I'd just drive back to Minneapolis so I could go to yoga and to see some friend's bands play at an art festival. But The Stylist didn't cancel on me until it was far too late to do that.
Then, Saturday night after I'd decided I was indeed staying in with the 'rents (who were actually okay to be around all weekend and not the least bit annoying) I got a call from my BFF. I had no idea she'd be coming home for the weekend. She apparently didn't know until that morning. My weekend was salvaged for the most part. I drank crappy beer and saw people I'd not seen in a while. Random dudes asked if I wanted to have sex. A guy who may or may not have been one of my brother's summer basketball coaches hit on me. Some girl who probably wouldn't have given me the time of day 10 years ago was all about my pigtails, shirt and tattoos. I didn't eat any cheese curds and I only stayed out until 3:00 (thanks for picking us up, Dad! Oh, happy Father's Day. It is after midnight, you know) and wasn't terribly hung over.
But it was a momentary upswing. Carrie's dad died this morning. And making me feel worse is that I feel selfish for semi-dwelling on my stupid boy issues. There may not even be any stupid boy issues. It might be my completely overactive imagination reading things into absolutely nothing because I've not even talked to Detlef because we were both busy all weekend. I feel like a crazy asshole at the moment.
Thankfully, there is a happy hour birthday celebration this evening for my friend. Every birthday is a cause for celebration, but given the fact that a few years ago she was battling leukemia, her birthdays are extra celebratory. This entry feels like some sort of rambling trainwreck. If that is indeed the case, I apologize and vow to do better next time.