16 January 2007

Part of the majority.

For the first time ever, more women in the U.S. are living without a husband than living with a husband. Sweet. I'm no longer in the minority.

I've never felt a lot of outside pressure to be doing the traditional marriage and 2.5 kids thing. The older my brother, sister and I have gotten, the more our mom has made remarks, but it's nothing compared to what I've heard other people get from their families. Maybe it's because of all the failed relationships in her family. Maybe it's because some of the women in my dad's family have married late and not had kids, so it doesn't seem all that abnormal. I probably feel more pressure from society in general than anything.

Marriage scares me. I've seen plenty of people go through divorces and I don't ever want to have to go through something like that. I was terrified at the idea of moving in with an ex-boyfriend because once you get to that point, it's so much harder to get out. And kids? I really don't think I am cut out to be a parent with a partner, much less a single mom. What happens if I get married and we have a kid and all of a sudden it's not working? My sister is a single mother, and I'm continually amazed at how well she does it. Meanwhile, I can can barely take care of myself.

Will everything change if I meet that guy? Will I suddenly think not only marriage is a great idea, but kids are, too? You hear things from people, but it's difficult for me to really believe them. I've never been with a guy I could see myself with down the road apiece. Right now, the idea of altering my life at all to even make time for someone else just seems preposterous.

Then again, I'm totally into bearded guys right now. Carrie had a dream last year that I would find some burly, bearded guy and marry him. Maybe she was seeing the future. Or maybe it's just cold and beards impart the idea of warmth.

If nothing else, I can take solace in the fact that if I stay in this spouseless majority, my allergy to (and general disdain for) cats will keep me from becoming the Crazy Cat Lady in my neighborhood when I'm old and gray. Or middle-aged and kinda gray.


Virginia Belle said...

to quote my best friend, who is twice divorced before age 30:

"trust me, it's ALWAYS better to be the single girl who never got married than to be the divorced woman."

i think i believe her.

Jess said...

Those sound like very wise words.

Anonymous said...

I think you do a very good job of taking care of yourself. Other than that, I relate to this post! Good entry on a good article!