30 October 2006

I made it. Almost, anyway.

There is just one full day left in October. It looks like I'm going to make it through without hearing from Whatshisfuckingface.

So is this it? Did I pass the test? It is interesting to see where I was about six weeks ago and where I was in those first weeks after he left. Those first few weeks were so awful, as they are with most break ups, I guess. I have to chuckle when I think about how I felt then; how I couldn't possibly ever imagine being okay. How could it possibly stop hurting? How could I possibly face life with the prospect of not seeing him for four months? Or ever? I spent so many days fighting tears at work. So many days coming home from work and not having the energy to even sit up on the couch so my tears wouldn't pool on the armrest. So many days under a black cloud that I thought would consume me.

Now those four months have passed and here I am, just fine and dandy. There's been no relapse. I've been able to get through this without him e-mailing me or calling me or coming home and wanting to see me. Whatever reason there is that I haven't heard from him, I'm thankful for it. I don't have to worry about how I'm going to spend five years seeing him every few months and falling in love with him all over again when he comes home, only to lose him again days later.

I'm very glad I sucked it up and made an effort to be on good terms with him before he left. There are plenty of things we both could have done differently, but I think I did the best I could. I have some good memories and I learned some things about myself. Not the least of which was that I can open up my cold, dead heart and love someone. So fuck you, Cornelius and all the others. You didn't break me.

Thanks, Tom. I wish you all the best.

I proclaim this chapter of my life closed.

27 October 2006

Perhaps you should close the door.

I've posted before about the general nastiness of the bathroom on my floor here at work. I recently ran into a woman in there talking to me, I guess, about her sweaty armpit problems and the fact that she apparently got one of her daughter's pads and not whatever it was she wanted.

Today, however, was a new one. I mean, the bathroom is in it's generally messy state. That's pretty much a constant. I went in and headed for my usual stall. I saw a sneaker, and thought it was in the stall next door, where the door was mostly closed. Another step though, made me see it was someone in the stall I was headed for. The stall with the door wide open. I saw a hand come up and heard an "Excuse me." Hey, no, excuse me for almost walking up to a stall with the door wide open and where you are sitting on the toilet. What the fuck?

I need a drink.

25 October 2006

A Muslim in Congress?

Oh, yes. It's a very real possibility and I'm going to help make it happen. Keith Ellison is the DFL candidate for Congress for the Fifth District, which is where I live. His story is making national news. From what I read in the Boston Globe story, it's making international news, as well.

Quite frankly, I often forget that Ellison is a Muslim. My first contact, if you will, with him was back when I was in college, writing for the Minnesota Daily. Ellison was the attorney for Kieran Knutson, a man accused of beating up a suspected Nazi at a anti-racism protest being held in response to a Nazi rally on campus. The Daily was drawn into the fray by then-Hennepin County Attorney Mike Freeman (which is the biggest reason I won't be voting for him to return to that post), who subpoenaed unpublished photos of the attack. And that's how I ended up in court on several occasions, waiting to see if our editor-in-chief was going to be sent to jail for refusing to turn over the photos. That whole experience made a really big impact on me, which is probably why I hold Ellison in such high regard and my disdain for Freeman knows no bounds.

It doesn't hurt that Ellison's Republican opponent, Alan Fine, has domestic assault allegations in his past. Not that I would have considered voting for him, anyway, but it's just so deliciously appropriate that would come out after Fine bashed Ellison on "character matters," the day after Ellison won the DFL primary. And in more University of Minnesota J School tie-ins, one of the reporters from that story, Paul McEnroe, was one of my adjunct profs. He also had a pretty big impact on my short-lived Journalism career.

The people who worry that Ellison would bring a Muslim agenda to Congress are on crack. Just how much pull do you think a first-timer of any political or religious ilk has in the House? I really don't think that episode of The Simpsons where Krusty is elected to Congress was that far off the mark. And I doubt Ellison will have an animated family and janitor who looks like ("Yeah ... looks like") Walter Mondale banding together to help him get any legislation passed on the sly. Anyway, what precedence is there for thinking Ellison will be looking out for only Muslim issues? He didn't do that when he was in the Minnesota Legislature.

I'm really excited to have the opportunity to help make history on November 7. I'd be excited to vote, anyway, because I'm a nerd. But there's something a little special about this year.

23 October 2006

In a good place.

For some reason, over the last week or so, I've been talking with several different friends about my dating life, or lack thereof. And it turns out, I actually like the "lack thereof" part of it.

I think getting away from my life for a few days when I went to my cousin's wedding helped me to solidify my position. The last thing I wanted to do when I got back was think about trying to find time to go out on a date or hang out with someone. I want to do whatever I want on my own schedule. I want to come home and watch The Simpsons, then go to the gym. After my workout, I want to putz around my apartment and drink a beer. Then I'll take a shower. I want to schedule impromptu happy hours with my friends. I want to decide at the last minute on a Saturday night that I'm going to head out to see a band. I want to get drunk and play DJ in my living room on a Friday night and go to bed at 10:30.

I'm not saying I'm through with dating. However, it's going to take someone pretty goddamn special to make me interested in disrupting my life. Because I like my life. I have a great group of friends. Not only that, but I like hanging out with myself. I have a good time. I most certainly do not want to date someone who flakes out on me or someone who is always complaining about me being busy or complaining that he's bored. In the last year, I can count on one hand (okay, three fingers, really) the number of guys who really intrigued me. And I was with one of them for seven months.

Carrie said she was happy to hear my rantings and ravings on this. She thinks it means that I'm in a really good place. Sweet. Now, I need to go buy a costume that shows off the girls for the Halloween party on Saturday night. There might be straight boys there. Just because I don't want to date someone doesn't mean I want to take a vow of celibacy, you know.

18 October 2006

It begins.

I made my trek to Southdale (America's first enclosed mall! They're celebrating the 50th anniversary this year. Or something.) last night to pick up my lip exfoliant. Being a creature of habit, I parked outside Macy's on the second level and walked into the men's department. Back in the Dayton's/Marshall Field's days, I worked in the Polo section and I constantly broke the parking rules. I'm such a rebel. I know.

As I walked into the door I saw the sight I've been dreading: red-draped tables stacked high with over-priced board games and weird gifts for people you don't really like, but for whom you have to get something, anything. Yesterday was October 17 and the Christmas shit is already out. Halloween is still more than 10 days away. Really, it shouldn't have been a surprise. Back when I worked at Dayton's/Field's, they would set up the Trim the Home shop in September. I worked in advertising, too, I know how early retailers start gearing up for the holidays. But it still bugs me every year.

Incidently, after two applications my lip exfoliant is not doing a very good job. I'll give it two more and if it doesn't work, back it goes. For $18 it should work better than the plain sugar I scrubbed on my lips Monday night. You're on notice, Smashbox. I bought a lip gloss, too. The color? Sassy, of course. I mean, it was like a sign. I'm not going to ignore that kind of a sign from the Universe. I could have spent hundreds of dollars just in the Smashbox section alone. I think making it out with $35 worth of lip products is quite an accomplishment. Especially if I end up returning half of it.

17 October 2006

Happy Hour.

I'm itching for some social interaction, which is a little odd. I mean, I just spent all weekend drinking with my family in Milwaukee. But, I think I need a Happy Hour. A Happy Hour that starts after work on Friday and ends with me getting a cab home at bar time wondering, "How the hell did that happen?" I had a few of those nights back when The OC was around. We'd head out after work to get some drinks before a Wolves game or some other event; and then there I was, home at 2:00 a.m., puking because he bought me a shot of whiskey even though I told him I was going to puke if I did said shot of whiskey.

A party would be fun, too. I've been meaning to have an apartment warming party, but I can never seem to find a good weekend. Friday would be too soon. And by the time I get around to it, the urge will have passed.

Maybe I can wait until Saturday. I think Carrie, BC and I are going to see The Hopefuls at O'Gara's. However, I miss The Independent ever so much. I don't get there nearly as much now that I live on Lyndale instead of Hennepin. Anyone wanna go? Come on. You know you do.

Also, after I went on this rant, I can't believe I forgot my Burt's Beeswax Lip Balm when I left for Milwaukee on Friday. I couldn't find it anywhere. I was forced to use Blistex, which was a poor substitute. The Blistex, combined with the bone-dry hotel air, left my poor lips reeling. I'm embarking on a visit to either Sephora (DANGER! DANGER!) or Ulta this evening to pick up some Smashbox Emulsion Lip Exfoliant. My attempt last night at using sugar as a cheap home remedy was, well, a cheap home remedy. It kinda worked, but not really. So, I'm going to get professional (and expensive, unfortunately) help to get my soft lips back.

16 October 2006

Sexy Rexy?

Muhsin Muhammad was just introducing the Bears' offensive players on Monday Night Football and called Rex Grossman "Sexy Rexy." I have many problems with this. It's like the square dance caller at my nephew's program last week saying "wiggety wack" over a song that sounded like it was from "Revenge of the Nerds." Or it's like this quote in the Star Tribune from Robert Fitzgerald, the Independent Party candidate for Senate.

"There's not much we can do," Fitzgerald said. "I'm not personally disappointed that I'm not invited. It's not a dis on me. I don't think Tim Russert's hating on me or anything. But I am dismayed, I guess, that 'Meet the Press' is not willing to reflect the race as it's happening here in Minnesota. Minnesotans know that they have three major-party candidates that they get to choose from."

Now, you may be saying, "Jess, don't hate the playa, hate the game." But an aspiring politician, young or not, should not be saying Tim Russert is or is not hating on him. And you can't call Rex Grossman "Sexy Rexy" when he's up against Matt "Please don't give me eye herpes while I gaze lustily at you" Leinart. It just ain't right.

15 October 2006

He's so predictable.

Vikings bye week = Booty Call Matt on the phone. And he didn't even want to watch the game tonight. Really, no one needs to subject themselves to watching Oakland Raiders football.

I managed to whine my way out of it tonight, but there's a good game on tomorrow night, so ... Sometimes it's difficult to shoot him down. I once told him that I just couldn't be around people and he said, "Jess, I'm not people." And damn, him, he was right. I mean, not even my having pink eye was a deterrent.

I'm a tired girl after spending the weekend drinking with the fam in Milwaukee. My cousin's wedding was a great time. I saw some people I haven't seen in ages and it was lovely. I'm all unpacked and even did laundry, so now it's downtime until bed. Excellent.

11 October 2006

Bulky.

I always hate this first actual cold day in Minnesota. And it's not even really all that cold. I mean, it's still 34. That's above freezing. But still, this is the day where you have to wear a real coat. The day you have to wear real shoes. The day you should really know where your gloves, hat and scarf are located and have them handy.

After work last night, I checked to see if I did indeed still have my hat, gloves, scarf and detachable fake fur collar for my coat. By some miracle, I did. It took me mere seconds to find everything and it was all in the same place. I'm not sure how I made that happen, but I'm pretty happy about it.

Some people embrace the cooling temperatures in the Fall. Like, for example, this guy who rides the 4 home everyday with me. Since it hit about 65, I've seen this guy in his leather jacket, big gloves and an earband. Me, I was still just wearing a sweatshirt as a jacket. I try to avoid winter clothes as long as possible. But now that I ride the bus, I'm forced to dress a bit more practical. However, I'm not busting out winter accessories until the temperature dips below 40 or I'm going to be outside for long periods of time.

Oddly enough, even though the first snow seems early this year, I'm not nearly as freaked out as I usually am. Granted, it was just a few flakes here and there this morning. Maybe I'll embrace the winter this year. Hahahahahahahahaha. Just kidding.

In the meantime, I'll go about my life, slowly getting used to feeling bulky, to wearing all these layers, stuffing my pockets with my gloves (and hat if I can), confining my feet to shoes with substance (not my beat-the-hell-up chucks) and trying to get my hair dry before I walk out the door in the morning.

09 October 2006

Movie Meme

So what is a MEME exactly? I guess it's this thing. Thanks to Chavie. I should note that I'm the worst person about seeing movies. You name it, I've probably not seen it.

1. The last movie you saw in a theatre, and current-release movie you still want to see. "Strangers With Candy." And I have no idea what movies are even playing right now. Really.

2. The last movie you rented/purchased for home viewing. "The Commitments." In fact, it's the only DVD I've purchased for myself. And you thought I was exaggerating about not seeing movies. I had a brief fling with Netflix a couple of years ago, but I can't remember what the last movie I got from them was.

3. A movie that made you laugh out loud. "Strangers With Candy."

4. A movie that made you cry. "Hedwig and the Angry Inch."

5. A movie that was a darling of the critics, but you didn't think lived up to the hype. I haven't the foggiest idea.

6. A movie that you thought was better than the critics. Again, since I don't watch movies very often I don't bother reading reviews. So I can't answer this.

7. Favorite animated movie. I'm hoping it will be The Simpsons movie.

8. Favorite Disney Villain. Cruella DeVille.

9. Favorite movie musical. "Hedwig and the Angry Inch."

10. Favorite movies of all-time. "Sixteen Candles," "The Commitments," "Purple Rain," "The Usual Suspects," the original Star Wars trilogy.

06 October 2006

A milestone?

For the first time since Whatshisfuckingface left, I'm absolutely, totally horny. Not that there haven't been episodes of it in the past few months; oh, there have been. But this is several days of unrelenting horniness -- it's damn near all I can think about. I take this as a good sign.

Now, where is Booty Call Matt when I need him?

My most sincere of apologies to the one relative of mine I know has read this blog ... though, you probably have already learned more than you ever wanted to know already. Still ... sorry!

05 October 2006

Spin's Artist of the Day

Okay, so I canceled my subscription to SPIN earlier this summer because it went to a whole new level of shittiness.

They've redeemed themselves in my eyes, though. The most recent issue (with the vomitous Panic! at the Disco on the cover) has The Slats listed in their monthly "what to download" column. In the interest of full disclosure, The Slats are not only one of my favorite bands, they are also friends of mine.

That doesn't mean they don't rock. Oh, they do. They will rock your motherfucking socks off. Yeah, I know Tapes 'n' Tapes are the current indie darlings out of Minneapolis. And I like them, to be sure. But I've seen them, apparently, because The Slats have played with them. And I don't remember a thing about any of their shows. Why? Because The Slats rocked ever memory of them out of my brain.

Today, SPIN.com's Artist of the Day just happens to be The Slats. You should check them out. Get even more Slats action here.

They're on tour very soon (BC couldn't come to see Yo La Tengo on Saturday with me and Sweetness because of said tour). When they bring the Goblet of Rock to your town, check them out. And tell b cox I said "Hi."

03 October 2006

Tuesday Afternoon Haiku.

woman on the bus
her desperate eyes search ours
she asks for money


i see planes arrive
october flights in the sky
which one carries you?


exercise bike sits
on the boulevard alone
squirrel won't use it


the twins lose game one
home field gone, sky is falling
fucking jesse crain

02 October 2006

Holy wow.

Remember when I said I couldn't shake the feeling of destiny surrounding the Twins' improbable comeback? It's getting stronger and stronger every damn day. Wow. I thought I was relatively speechless when the Twins clinched a playoff berth a week ago. But yesterday? That was just ... wow.

It was pretty cool to hear the crowd at the Dome chanting "Let's go, Royals," while the game was still going on. It was even cooler to see the players joining in while everyone watched the Detroit/KC game on the Jumbotron. I'm a little amazed, but at the same time not very amazed, that so many people stayed to watch things play out after the Twins finished off the Bitch Sox.

My mom was going to look for our Homer Hankies from the '87 and '91 seasons. I've always wondered what happened to mine when I packed up my stuff and went off to college. I've got one from the 2004 season somewhere amongst my things. However, it's probably packed away in a box from the move back in March. Boo.

There is one thing about the Twins being in the playoffs that's got me pretty angry. Stupid FOX, MLB and the goddamn East Coast bias that is forcing the Twins games against Oakland to be in the afternoon tomorrow, Wednesday and Friday. Jesus H. motherfucking Christ. I can't take off three afternoons of work you bastards. Fucking Yankees. I guess there's a silver lining even to this, though: no Jeanne Zelasko for a few days. She makes me want to hurt someone. Mostly her.