The Vikings' press release describes it as such:
Bring in the Horns is a brand new, high energy, yet melodic Minnesota Vikings theme song balancing timeless substance with a cutting edge sound.
That sound you heard was me throwing up a little in my mouth. "Yo! We hit that gridiron and we do run-run ... This is "timeless substance?" Okay, that "we do run-run" part makes me a bit wistful for my Shaun Cassidy album that sits somewhere amongst my dad's albums out on the farm. But that's really all.
I've already broken up with the Vikes. Are they just trying to piss me off now?
More throwing up in my mouth: Jessica and Ashlee Simpson's dad is a creepy dude. Like, really creepy. Those poor girls. I mock them both often and quite lustily (if you can boo lustily, you should be able to mock lustily, right?). However, I really do feel bad for them. And not just because they're dumber than a box of hair. Their dad sounds like Chester Molester. I feel dirty. I need a shower.
Of baseball and transplants: There's just something about a "jogging diary" of a baseball game devolving into a discussion about a psychologically damaging (not to mention swollen), ultimately failed penile transplant that warms a girls heart.