22 August 2006

A fan in search of a team.

Last week, I wrote about breaking up with the Vikings. So, where does this leave me? I'm a football fan without a team. Where am I supposed to put all this excitement and adoration? I mean, it's not as if I'll lose all interest in football if I don't have a specific team to cheer for. It's not as if I'm new to the sport and need to choose a team. I spend most of Saturdays and Sundays throughout the Fall and Winter watching whatever football is on. Still, without a team to call my own, it feels a bit empty.

I'm a good fan; a loyal fan. I've been a Timberwolves fan since Day One. And man, have I suffered through some pain there. I've been a Twins fan since about fifth grade (when I started playing softball), which was before they won the 1987 World Series, thank you very much. Then there's my beloved Golden Gophers. Attending the University of Minnesota only intensified my love for them.

When I first started seriously talking about dumping the Vikings some of my Packer-fan friends immediately suggested I jump on that bandwagon. Thanks, but no thanks. I know I can't be a fan of any team in the division. But that's a start, right?

Over the years I developed an affection for a couple of other teams. I became a fan of the Patriots back when they drafted Drew Bledsoe out of Washington State. Really, up until I became mildly annoyed with them last season (mostly due to insufferable fans), New England had been my second-favorite team. My loyalty remained even after Tom Brady took over and Bledsoe went to Buffalo. Of course, it doesn't hurt that Brady is fairly dreamy, though he can't hold a candle to Bledsoe's drool-worthiness. So, yeah, I was annoyed with them last year, but what's this? In the 2006 draft, the Patriots took former Golden Gopher running back Laurence Maroney? Maybe the Pats are the team for me, after all.

I followed Bledsoe in Buffalo, but Lord Almighty, were those games painful to watch. Hotness does not make bad football fun to watch. When he went to Dallas last year, I really had trouble, because I've always hated the Cowboys. Then again, another former Gopher, Marion Barber III, was a Cowboy. I'll admit I was cheering for the Cowboys when I watched them last season. But now they have Terrell Owens. I cannot stomach rooting for a team that lists T.O. on its roster. I just can't. I want to punch that fucker in throat.

Then there's the Steelers. I started following Pittsburgh when they drafted Kordell Stewart. Yeah, I know. But I think I fell a little bit in love with him on a Saturday afternoon in 1994. I started watching the Michigan-Colorado game and fell asleep. I woke up just in time to see Stewart's Hail Mary pass to Michael Westbrook. I wasn't sure I was fully awake when I saw it; there was the possibility that I could have been asleep and dreaming. But no, it really happened. Over the years, I came to realize that Stewart sucked. I still liked the Steelers though. I wanted them to win the Super Bowl this past year (and in 1996, too). After Big Ben's mishap this summer, though, I'm not so crazy about the Steelers. Mostly because I can't stand stupidity.

I'd always liked the Titans. But with Steve McNair now a Raven, I'm not sure Drew Bennett's cuteness is enough to hold my attention. The Panthers held a special place in my heart, if only because I went to school in North Carolina for a year. I don't have a burning fire in my soul for either team, though. Yeah, I'll choose their side nine times out of 10 when I'm watching a game, but I nearly always choose a side when I'm watching any game.

Where does all of this analysis leave me? Looks like I'm still a girl without a team. What do I do now?


STAK said...

Two words........Atlanta Falcons.......

Anne said...

Go with the team with the hottest players. That way if they suck, you'll still be entertained watching all those games.

Jess said...

The problem with both of these suggestions, oddly enough, is The Herpes. Ron Mexico has it and Matt Leinart is almost assuredly diseased after dipping into the biohazardous waste bin that is Paris Hilton's cooter. I fear some kind of occular infection from watching.

If it weren't for that fact and the fact that I hate Denny Green with every ounce of my being, I would probably be a Cardinals fan. Oh, and the fact that they suck, too.

yatesy said...

may i suggest the philadelphia eagles?
we win, we lose, but we always entertain!