12 July 2006

These dreams go on when I close my eyes*

I had a dream last night that my parents sat us down and told us they were getting a divorce. It was really disconcerting.

After they leveled this blow, the dream switched to me and my sister walking down the street. It seemed as if we were in Janesville, walking past the Lutheran church, and then further down the street, past what used to be Johnson's house and Mr. Burns's house. Apparently, at some point earlier, I'd met a guy or we'd gone out or he liked me or something. I realized he was walking behind us, calling to me; but I was ignoring him. Partly because I was freaked out to have received such devastating news from my parents, and partly because I was wearing no make up for some reason.

He did catch up with me, and then my sister was gone. His brother or friend was there, though. Suddenly, I'm walking alone on the sidewalk, plowing through waist- to chest-deep snow. But it was summer. The guys were wearing shorts and they were walking above me, on the slope. The snow didn't look or feel like snow, though. It felt more like ice and looked like hail.

I made it through the snow/hail and then was standing on the sidewalk talking to this guy. Then my nephew was there and he was crying. Where my sister went is beyond me. Do you ever have dreams where someone is in the dream and you know it's that person, but they look like someone completely different? At the same time my nephew was my nephew, he was also my little brother. It was weird.

Then it was over. So, I pulled out my Dictionary of Dream Symbols (I have a previous version). The few dreams that I do remember tend to be rather bizarre and I often can't find symbols from my dream in the book. Like the dream where I was sculpting queen candidate's noses in butter and ended up doing a full carving of Whatshisfuckingface's head in butter. Sometimes, though, there are symbols that I can find in the book. For instance, the dream I had a few years ago about being in a sausage factory with Chris and Jonny from Coldplay. I actually woke up laughing from that one and didn't really need to read the book to find out what the symbols in that dream meant.

But, I digress (shock! horror!). The first symbol I looked up was:

Snow (also see Ice): as well as symbolizing frozen emotion, it may symbolize a new, clean start.

Being the good girl I am, I then looked up:

Ice (see also Cold):

1. as water may symbolize emotion, so ice may symbolize "frozen"
emotion, emotion paralyzed by fear or guilt.

2. ice may be a symbol of sexual frigidity.
In either case, melt the ice by warmly embracing the repressed feelings

Finally, in the interest of psychology, I looked up:

Cold (see also Ice): coldness in a dream may symbolize a cold, hard heart. Have you become emotionally frigid? What traumatic experience may have caused this?

Oooooh! A recurring theme. How interesting. I'm fairly sure that the last thing I am is sexually frigid. As for the repressed emotions ... I think I've been embracing and experiencing more emotions than normal over the past few weeks -- difficult, painful emotions. I haven't tried to push them under a rug or shove them into a ball, deep down in my soul. I've been reveling in them.

So, perhaps the snow/ice in my dream symbolized a new, clean start for me. I can kind of see where it would apply.

*Every title my brain threw out for this blog entry was a song. "Dreaming of You," "Dream a Little Dream," and on and on. I finally settled on Heart. Ah, the Wilson sisters. You brought me much joy over the years.

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