13 June 2006

It's one of those double-edged sword thingies.

One thing that I really dislike about myself is that I allow other people (friends, family, bus drivers, cashiers, bands, politicians, random strangers ... you get the idea) to have an inordinate amount of influence on my mood.

In many ways, this is a very bad thing. Let's say a bus is really early and I miss it or really late and I miss my transfer or just end up being late for whatever I was on my way to do. Now I'm cranky. Some days it makes me, stay-the-hell-away-from-me-or-I'll-beat-you cranky. Or I'm out for dinner or drinks and the server is rude or incompetent. There are times the rest of the night is completely ruined (often enough, it's comedic fodder, though).

But there's another side to this ... personality trait? I'm not sure that's what to call it. As much as I let people ruin my day or my mood, small actions from the people I mentioned above (pretty much anyone I could come into contact with on a daily basis) can make my day. Maybe it's my Bearded Bus Boyfriend letting me get off the bus first or an e-mail from someone I like. I can go from the verge of tears to grinning like an idiot.

And I don't know how to go about changing this. Do I even want to change it? Yeah, it sucks that a rude cashier at Rainbow can make me pissy for a couple of hours. On the other hand, it's pretty darn neat that the girl at the MAC store can completely erase a bad day and make me feel like a new woman.

Is it better to allow people to affect me or to shut myself off from them entirely and be immune to their good and bad actions? I probably already know the answer, I guess.

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