14 May 2006

Taking life lessons from TV.

I feel like a bad episode of The Simpsons. I stayed in last night and caught up on some TV. This is for several reasons, the main one being that I just didn't feel like being around anyone.

One of the shows I watched was "My Name Is Earl." It was the season finale. The episode recounts how Earl got to be where he was with his list. At the end, he was fixing Joy's wall, when it wasn't his fault that the wall had a gaping hole in it. He said that sometimes it's better to just suck it up and do something like that, even when it's not your fault. There's no point in holding on to the anger, as it only makes you feel worse.

What kind of a life lesson could I possibly take from this, you ask? It just so happens that on Friday night at Happy Hour, I was talking with Carrie about Whatshisfuckingface and how I sometimes feel like I want so badly to make him know what he's done to me and I just want to say my peace. However, at the same time, I just want the situation to go away because I know there will be no making him see my point of view. Then there are the times that I just wonder whether I should suck it up and try to be okay with this more for his sake than anything.

I guess I took Earl's nugget of wisdom and applied it to my own situation with Whatshisfuckingface. Being angry at him hasn't made me feel good at all. I can deal with being hurt and sad, and I have been dealing with those things, in fact. I've felt like I want to hold a grudge, but what good is that going to do? It will only make me dwell on the situation for much longer than I should.

So I made the decision to just wipe the slate clean as well as I could. Not that I did a good job or anything. I left him a voicemail saying something to the effect of, "If you want to call me, that's fine. I'm not going to pretend that I'm okay with how you've treated me, but I know that being angry about it isn't going to do me any good." He actually called me back. Again, I felt like he was putting more of the blame on me than what I actually deserved. But I didn't say anything. What's the point? I don't really think there is one, as it turns out. I still don't know where we are, but I told him I wanted to be okay when he leaves and me not being angry is a good place for that to start.

And now, the Twins are about to take on the White Sox for the third of four games in this series. The worst they can do is split, but let's hope they win tonight for all the mommies out there.

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