30 March 2006

A rare good mood.

At least it's pretty rare to find me in a good mood lately. I'm not sure why I'm in a good mood. Could be that I'm only working a half day tomorrow and my weekend at home should be fun. Could be that I'm leaving in a bit over an hour to head down to Gluek's to see The Current's Mary Lucia do a live broadcast of her show. I'm meeting my friend Shawn there for dinner and drinks before we head over to First Ave to see Robert Pollard. Or maybe my hormones have settled down. It sure ain't the weather, anyway.

I'm feeling better after several days of freaking out about Whatshisfuckingface. It's hard having a boyfriend of four months you rarely see. It's a lot more difficult when a big reason for not seeing him is because he was diagnosed with throat cancer two months ago. I haven't the foggiest idea what's going on with him or what's going on with us. And it's a motherfucking bitch not knowing. But hopefully his trip to Florida will help him recharge and relax and figure out what he's doing. Maybe then we can sit down and figure out what we're doing.

There's obviously something different about him, because I've not given up and said, "Fuck him. I don't need this shit in my life." I'm trying. I'm communicating. Those things are completely new for me. And quite frankly, it's scary (possibly a little sad given that I'm 32 and have never bothered to really communicate or try with any of the guys I've dated). But I'm doing it.

I've even gotten some work done today. I'm scared! Someone hold me.

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